(Look for this week’s #ThursdayThoughtfulness questions after the jump.)
This Week’s Questions: How often do you remember the importance of loving yourself? Do you do anything in particular to remind yourself of this? If you don’t, is self-love something that you’ve struggled with in the past or are still struggling with now? What can you start doing today so you can give yourself this gift more often?
Follow #ThursdayThoughtfulness at the blog as well as on Facebook and Twitter at 11:00 AM Eastern. Feel free to spread the thoughtfulness by reblogging this post, writing your own post on this topic, or sharing the quote image on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
Sara Letourneau 
Amen! A truth well worth restating.
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Thanks, John. 🙂
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Hm… Whenever I’m in trouble, to be honest. I tend to be quite hard on myself when things are going well. But I’ve learnt when things get rocky to nurture myself – because if I want to get out of whatever mess I’m in, then I’ll be down to me. So then, I take care of myself – tell myself I’ve come this far without caving in/buckling, so I won’t do so now. And that I’m worth the chance for happiness. I call it ‘Battle Conditions’…
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I’m the same way, though with a different “mentality.” (That wasn’t the word I was looking for, but it was the only one I could think of… ) I too take more care of myself when things get tough, but it’s often because I’m suffering from overcommitting myself (either with projects / activities, or simply trying to do too much on a day-to-day basis and not getting enough rest). But I’ve become better at recognizing the symptoms and then planning (or rearranging plans) a night of self-care; and when I do that, I feel a lot better the next day. The challenge now, of course, is recognizing when I’ve spread myself too thin so I don’t run myself down so often…
It sounds like you’ve reached the same point with recognizing when you need self-care, too. That’s a good thing. Do you do anything specific when you reach that point? By that, I mean how do you take care of yourself? What do you like to do that helps you feel better or nurtured?
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It’s the time when I pay more attention to my spirituality, which I can be careless about when things are going well… I also am far more careful about what I eat. It’s NOT the time to binge on sweets, etc – but to make sure I’m eating for health and energy. I’ll pay more attention to my appearance, too. And talk to myself and pray, as well as reaching out for help from those who love and support me… my husband… mother… sister… friends – whoever is appropriate. I’m blessed with a lot of folks in my life who really care about me. I’ll also go for walks and focus on the small things in life – those gemstone moments which actually make all the pain and misery worth it. A beautiful flower… sun on the sea… the smell of lavender… It sounds rather wafty, I know – but it is a survival kit that’s got me through some really, really tough times.
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First of all: Somehow I was hyper-focusing on self-care when I responded to your comment and missed the bigger picture. Sorry about that. That’s what happens when I rush at replying to a comment.
None of that sounds weird / wafty at all to me, Sarah. Spirituality is also a huge part of my self-care routine, and has taught me to be more cautious of bad habits like negative self-talk, dwelling on fears and worries – things that increase my anxiety, and that aren’t very loving and nurturing. And for you personally, what matters most is that it works for YOU. Some people might not agree or think it should be a helpful process, but if it works for you, then that’s all that really matters.
Aren’t those little moments in life so beautiful sometimes? I was walking on a beach today (it was unusually warm for a February day) before I left Cape Cod, and marveled at several things: the mica in the rocks on the jetty, the smooth texture of pebbles… and just the day itself. There’s so much to be grateful for in life, even if it’s tiny, isn’t there?
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No problem:). I probably went into too much detail! I recently emerged from one of those horrible ‘Battle Conditions’ episodes in my life, so the memory of how I got through it is still rather sharp!
As to those tiny things – oh absolutely – I couldn’t agree with you more, Sara:). I’ve come to the conclusion they are what make Life bearable and add to our overall happiness and contentment.
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Don’t worry about it. I loved reading what you do for yourself when you recognize you need the extra care. And I recently went through a period of “battle conditions” myself, so the quote and this discussion is relevant for me, too.
“I’ve come to the conclusion they are what make Life bearable and add to our overall happiness and contentment.”
Ditto. 🙂
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It’s not exactly a coincidence that you and I have become such firm friends, even though we live in different parts of the world – there are so many of the fundamentals we see through the same lens…
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I completely agree. 🙂
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Love this series- what a great idea!
I’ve gotten SO much better at self-care now that I’ve learned the combination of things I need to feel my best. But as for self-love, which is a different beast all together… hard to say. I tend to be pretty unforgiving of myself when I don’t meet my own expectations. I’m going to think about that one.
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Thanks, Leanne. 🙂
I’m like you – I’ve gotten better with self-care over time, though I still tend to neglect it from time to time. But remembering to love oneself is more difficult. It sounds like, for you, the challenge is how to remind yourself that you’re worthy of that love when you don’t meet your expectations. Because you certainly are worthy of it, all of the time, no matter what.
I think everyone falls short of their expectations of themselves now and then. I know I have, and I’ve beaten myself up over it. But that’s not a helpful or loving reaction. Maybe the key is to remind yourself that it’s human to fail or come up short once in a while, and the most nurturing thing you can do is to acknowledge that failure / shortcoming and how it makes you feel, then come with a plan of how to do better and overcome. What do you think?
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I’d say that doing the things I enjoy, such as writing and artwork, are a way of self love, for me.
Lovely photo, btw!
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All wonderful activities, E. Taking the time to do little things that bring you joy can sometimes be all you need to remind yourself that you’re worthy of self-love. 🙂
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So very true. I was just thinking about that last night before I went to sleep after a movie I saw. Interesting to see it here as well. 🙂
I honestly don’t love myself enough. There are always doubts and I know that my self-esteem is ridiculously low, but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’m not sure I’ve succeeded, but at least I’ve identified the problem and I think that’s quite a big step in the healing process. A really thought-provoking post, as promised. 🙂
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I struggle with self-love from time to time, too. One of my worst habits is being hard / critical on myself, and it’s worst when I’m lacking in confidence or stressed out. And some days it’s more difficult to overcome that sense of “rock bottom” than others. But like you said, identifying the source of that lack is the first step toward reminding ourselves that we’re worthy of self-love. Then we can work toward a solution, toward actions we can take to show ourselves that love.
Good for you for finding the root of the problem, Nandini. Have you thought of any ideas (either practical or symbolic) to help you move in the right direction?
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Right now, if I’m feeling insecure, I just constantly remind myself that I’m worthy and capable of love. Sure, there’s friends and family, but I’m never completely myself with them, so they love a projection of me. The only person who can love me for who I am is myself, so I just tell myself that. 🙂
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“Sure, there’s friends and family, but I’m never completely myself with them, so they love a projection of me.”
I know this feeling to a degree. With my friends, I have no trouble being completely myself. But with my family, I’m more reluctant to share the same joys and thoughts with them as I would with friends.
Good for you for giving yourself those reminders. Like you said, we are the only ones who can love ourselves as we are, and we need to take the time to do this. Keep it up. 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂 Yes, even I’m a bit more myself with my friends as they are understanding of the joys and uncertainties of our age. In India, parents are seen as people we just respect first and foremost, so it’s a bit difficult to be myself in front of them keeping that in mind.
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Oh wow! I thought for sure I had posted on this one 😳
Self-love is definitely something I struggled with a lot in the past. Not too long ago, well… I’m not going to get into it, but I turned myself around, reignited my writing passion. I’ve gotten better at it, but there are still times when I’m too hard on myself. The thing is, I don’t tend to notice until my sister or mom usually call me out on it! 😉
Beautiful post, Sara. Hope we can all remember to love ourselves a little more ❤
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XD It can be tough to keep track of what we have and haven’t commented on sometimes. Believe me, I know the feeling.
No need to get specific if you don’t want to, Faith. These posts are mostly to get people thinking and possibly finding ways to better themselves. Which is exactly what you were doing. 😉
It’s funny, because when I’m hard on myself, my friends are the ones who tend to notice most. It might be because I come from a family with high expectations, so I’m used to being demanding of myself because I grew up with parents who expected a lot from me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – but like all things, it has its pros and cons. So I think it’s good that your sister and your mom recognize when you need to be more caring toward yourself, and let you know when they think you need it.
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Interesting questions, Sara. I caught myself thinking that I probably wouldn’t be able to really answer them, as these are not the things I ponder. I guess I never cared whether I love myself, more focused on loving things I do or create.
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Very true. But by doing the things you love or bring you joy, you’re cultivating self-love in a practical way. Think about it this way: If you didn’t make time for writing or art, how do you think you’d feel?
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I don’t know. If I didn’t make the time for them, it’d probably mean I didn’t care about them that much. 🙂
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“Battle stations” and “rock bottom” can become a habit, discouraging us from ever sounding the “all clear” and relaxing. Anxiety is one of the worst enemies of self-love.
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^^ That couldn’t be more true, John.
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Thanks for sharing this important message. We need to have these words on billboards! I have just started a poetry blog here on WordPress in case you are interested in taking a look? Have a good day, Sam 🙂
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You’re very welcome, Sam. 🙂 I’ll try to take a look at your poems when I have a chance!
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Self love is definitely difficult for me. I’m my own worst critic and I feel like if I love myself too much then I’m vain.
storitorigrace.blogspot.com
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^^ I’m my own worst critic, too. I actually have no idea what my strengths are as a writer – it’s easier for me to point out what I still need to work on. So I (unfortunately) have a tendency to miss the positive, and doing that requires more thought and effort. So that’s one reason why I struggle with self-love, too.
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